Share 其實..總是笑の人，真の很需要人疼

总有一些人..
他们看上去整天都很开心
嘻嘻哈哈的、没有烦恼
像个小孩

他们会说
玩是我最大的乐趣
我很喜欢玩
我什么都会玩

人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑容
好多人都会羡慕他们
然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方
他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面
更没有能力一个人独处
因为当夜深人静的时候
他不知道一个人会发生什么事
坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴

没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们就整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦！

他们貌似很坚强
因为在别人看来
他们什么事都能微笑着去面对
但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵
只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤

他们其实非常孤独
虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地
那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨！

他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着
期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的
希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己

即使别人小小的意见
也会另他们难过好久
他们真的真的很介意
介意自己不被人喜欢

因为..
他们总是为别人想的很多
对别人总是比对自己好
把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福
喜欢别人比喜欢自己多

他们总是那样
前一秒还伤心的流着泪
后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候
已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容

有人说他们是向日葵
是的..
他们在意的人就像是太阳
在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣
而太阳照不到的背面
那悲伤藏得那么好
不愿被看见

他们向往放纵自由的生活
却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着
很累很累.....
却仍是心甘情愿

离自己的梦境越来越来远
不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂
恐慌、不知所措
只有面对最依赖的人时
才会卸下盔甲
委屈的流下眼泪
感情得以小小宣泄后
偷偷抹掉眼泪
像个犯了错的孩子
无辜地向你认错
保证下次不这样了

其实他们真的不知道自己错在哪里
只知道你的不开心是因为多了一个他
他们害怕被遗弃
他们更害怕发现对于这个世界而言
他们是多余的

他们心里
笑就是开心
哭就是难过
接近就是喜欢
远离就是讨厌

但其实不是..
他们明白了
心好伤
眼泪就没忍住
哭过之后
笑笑得擦干眼泪
说没关系
我可以做的很好的

他们好像无所不能
好像总是不会有烦恼
好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决
总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前
笑嘻嘻的逗着笑

而面对自己的问题
他们却茫然无措
面对自己的悲伤
他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大

他们的想法非常简单
说出来的就是心里所想的
肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯
无心的话可能会引起别人的误解

所以..
请别记恨他们
他们从不愿伤害谁
小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久

他们其实非常单纯
甚至你曾经无心给的他一个微笑
他也会一辈子记得你的好
因此他们的世界观其实也很简单
他们很容易受蛊惑
请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情
因为一旦伤害了
那就将永远弥补不回来！

如果你身边有这种人请你给予他（她）那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀
让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们

真的..
他们已经再也受不起一点点的伤了

伤害他们这样纯粹易碎的心
难道你不会跟着一起心纠结到快要窒息吗?

倘若有这么一天
你..
真的..
只是一不小心..
闯入他们内心深处
看到了以前没看到的
感觉到了他们的感觉
你心里一定会难过的

可惜..
一切都来不及了

是你..
无意间
亲手掐灭他们原本就不温暖的心里仅存的那一点点希望的星火
他们真的彻底把自己封闭起来
他们选择沉默
选择一个人
选择对这个把他们遗忘的世间不给与任何喜或是悲

毕竟对于他们而言
感情
是多么奢侈的东西

那些无知的人
请不要再拿故作的幸福用作炫耀的资本
因为他们宁愿自己痛也不会让别人受伤
他们要的只是一个微笑
一句关心的话
仅此而已..........

really so truth... =)
make me feel touch!! =)

~~ finished final exam!!~~

finally I'm finished my final exam!!
hope I can get all pass!!
I don't wish fail!!
give me pass ya!!!=P

after this I have to concentrate my final year project and working!!
but my final project I really don't know how to do!! need request some senior to helping me already!!
really don't wish ma fan them!! but... no choice ah!!

must finish it before November 26!! final rush! go go go!! hope I can handle it!!
2nd time used iPhone to post blog!! wahaha...

so tired!! is time to nap!! wow, heavy raining!! suit me!! yeah!!
take care my dear frens!!! :) wish you all

shi wei!! slow face everytime!! each by each!!
tomorrow kuantuan!! haha:)

~~ Ella + HH birthday!! ~~

Yesterday are ella + hh birthday... erm... they are happy and crazy!! wow... wahaha... but before that, afternoon that time!! i went to my relative house eat asam laksa that time got chat a bit. then my dad suddenly pop up NS to telling me to go... im really stun... for me... i dont wish to going anymore.. it is waste my time to go already... because it is not helping me to learn any others things anymore... i really prefer going to work and learn much things that going there 3month learn nothing!! really waste my life time.. but my family... haiz... after this topic came out... it make me now more suffer.... sometime im really speechless and wish to go away the things.. but i cant.... i have no choice... i need to face it... who can really beside me support me... really suffering....

Ella birthday like wedding dinner.. wahaha.. =D
hh birthday like gathering... xD
anyway.. wish you all happy birthday...

shi wei (Suffering) =(

~~ 大家都变了 ~~

大家都变了,不再是我所认识的人了!!! erm... fine... continue back myself but diam diam dont care too much ah... however is too hard for me to do.. since is my frens.. erm... moody now.. where is my smile.. fake smile fake smile.. long jor ma because 习惯咯!! now really 习惯了!! haha...

like the drama... never see the real smile is smile inside the heart.. wahaha.. really sot...

got bath... then rest..

shi wei~~

~~ Haiz,keep cant sleep well ~~

Haiz,Why!! i cant sleep well.... =(
i just wish to have a nice sleep... why cant??? why dont give me??? haiz... dizzy!!
dont know how!! what should do... everyday also same... haiz...
I WANT HAVE A SWEET SLEEP!!! SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME!!! ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sot jor.. erm... really wish to have a nice sleep.... =(

yesterday was my 2nd paper... erm.. it is quite well... but the next monday paper is killing me.. haiz...im dont wish to fail...im just want to pass!! please let me pass.... =(

have to revision and tonight got frens birthday party need attend.. So afternoon should have a nice revision 1st!! wahjahaha... just jia you go go go!!

oh ya, wish all my dear frens.. GOOD LUCK!!

take care!!
shi wei want fight again.. =(
scary!! really scary!! extreme scary!!

~~ Recently Slept not Well ~~

Erm.. yesterday my 1st final exam was down.. haiz... im need revision more for tomorrow final exam already... really so hard to exam... im really crazy...
besides, i can oi well this recently... haiz!! what is the main problem??? i really dont know... how to solve it... almost want crazy... but lucky this saturday got frens party... Therefore i wont so crazy with final exam ba.... i can relax 1 night.. then sunday have to continue fight again... it is because the last subject is more harder than the yesterday subject... omg... why like that... haiz.... tired everyday... cant oi well... WHY!!! tell me WHY!!!

need go revision again.. tata
good luck my dear frens~~

take care!!

shi wei

~~ Tomorrow Start Final Final Exam ~~

Tomorrow is my Final Final Exam... i have to revision well and fight with it.. try to get the great marks to myself... jia you jia you go go go...

take care all my frens!!
Good Luck to all UCSI frens as well!!

shi wei

~~ Exam Weeks ~~

Fianl exam weeks comes!! tomorrow i must hand in assignment + labtest + presentation... im still on doing... besides, i have to rush another assignment that need to submit at this 20 october - wednesday + its final exam!! after that, 22 october is my final exam again... really stress....
While come to 23 october...i will try my best to prepare as much as i can!! because night i need attend my frens birthday party... however i have final exam at 25 october... i will still attending and celebration with them... =)
nobody treat you good, nvm... im still need treat who im really care good thats enough... =D at least im never blame or give up my frens... =D but sometime heard somethings that i didnt know... still will make me sad... but whatever ah.... it is my life...i just accepted... =D
After that, after final exam...im still cant relax too much... it is because im still have the final year project need to finish it before 26 November... therefore im still need to rushing it... but according to my final year project...im not really know how to do it.. so im really stress with it.. dont know how... haiz!!! wait after final exam only things... but it look a bit late... dont care ah.. concentrate to my final exam 1st.... only think about it....

have to continue assignment 1st.. later 3pm need meeting!! dont know until what time... tonight need to drive night car again.. =)

take care all my frens!!
wish you all Good Luck!!

Shi wei!! stress~~~~~

~~~ Saturday @g@in!! ~~~

So fast... another saturday already.... Times was flying... but im was tired like crazy~~~ =D
while it is flying... im busy assignment and also flying with assignment... assignment really make me crazy.... besides, those lecturer keep given assignment last mins... never think at our side.... somemore telling us... those assignment just very easy... but compared to us... it is hard!!! if you are lecturer also feel hard with the assignment.. then for students are extreme hard... therefore please dont use the words the assignment just simple... it is not a good words.... im not yet prepare revision... because still rushing assignment.. really no ideas ah.... when got this type of lecturer.... studies also cant learn what... learn nothing only...
last night friday... o.O yam cha until 1am... lolz... so long never relax until so happy.. wahaha.. yam cha with loo chinn,hh,sf,by!! talk a lot funny things... lolz.. really relax.. thanks to my frens.. ^^
just go hard with my assignment and exam... after 25 October... i want super relax entertainment!! because im really so long never have entertainment already.. but hope so got people if free accompany me... otherwise also no used... xD
if really nobody free.... decide going back hometown better than at here.. =D

OK!! stop here 1st.. it is time to go and do the assignment... =D

take care all my frens... GOod luck also!!

shi wei!! =D

~~ So late no oi yet!! iPhone post blog ~~

This recently tired until when want oi that time also can't oi!! Really so weird!! Besides, my body so easy get small flu and whatever!!Really felt uncomfortable!! Maybe really start oi or i'm too tired and stress!! Never take a good rest!! Therefore now the health become so weak already!! iPhone wrote blog can't fast that using keyboard typing lo!! Lol....

Don't know myself thinking what now!!! Lol...
But I have to face it!! Happy life is just based on myself!!
I will found it!!:)

Ok ah!! Try to oi!! Tata
take care all my dear frens!! :D
good luck!!

Shiwei
posted by iPhone!!
2.23am..... =P

~~ A Great Talk ~~

Yesterday after end class, im went to chi hui tang for listening Teacher lai had a small talk about 生存,生活,生命!!成功快乐之素!!
生存 --> 身体,精神,知趣 --> 生活 --> 静心,觉知,智慧 --> 生命
For Survival
need health, energy, knowledge
Energy of 亲情,友情,爱情, and must have 热情,交情,长情 --> 富!!
knowledge is based on school life, society life, house life.
For Live
need Meditation, awareness, wisdom to Life!! =D
In between the talks, a lot example make me so touch!! It is because really truth...
亲情,友情,爱情 support really so important!!! but everyone also got own opinion in everything... just my self 热情,交情,长情 to others is what im always do... no need 回报!!
What im do is the best then im no need to worry what!! how people want treat back you is depending on them... =)
BEEN a EQ people!! =)

Happy really is my life...
when can find back my happy life!! miss it... faster back.. my happy life!!
So im must use of it life then i will happy back.. =D

Im always remind myself to smile and face everything is RIGHT.. no wrong!!
Dont said im 假惺惺!! because this is my way to make myself happy.. not for you all!!
Not believe me... just go away... im never force you.. =D

What im do really 对的天地良心!! =) 问心无愧!! =D

later around 3something have to be my mum "ah mam" to fetch her here and there!! wahaha.. yeah... can have FREE food today.. =P
my dad and sister went to genting.. so only me and mum go "chan" table leg!! =P

anyway, i have to continue my assignment... =D
tata
take care all my frens!! ^^

shi wei~~ =D

~~ Today Life's... T.T ~~

Today early morning wake up and going to uni start UNIVERSITY life... Zzzz
8am classes until 11am... then im stay back and doing the Object Oriented Method Assignment!! it is hard to solve the questions... but lecturer told me is easy only... T.T

once im doing.... i saw Shin wen and she came to sit beside me chit chat with me a while only going back home... wahaha... really miss secondary life... no stress and can have a lot of frens around to chit chat and have fun... really love it... but now... lol.... doing what also alone... =D

around 12something... im very hungry... but not want eat alone.... suddenly.. im saw one of my course mate at cafeteria there... then im called her and asked why you are here... she told me waiting to meet up with supervisor... then im asking what time... after that, i going out order food and sit with her to take my lunch + breakfast....

So so... continue to my assignment around 1something... Around 5...im already cant tahan anymore and fall asleep at there... When almost 6pm classes... im start feel weird... It is because around 6pm also not much students come to the classes... and 1 of my frens saw another fren MSN and telling him class cancel... we only knew it and im really almost crazy.... but lucky im didnt white white wait at uni today... erm...
HOpe tomorrow dont cancel again..i will kill people.. lolz~~~~

When im arrived my house, im saw my BONUSLINK new card is arrived!!! just a little small things that bring back my mood... really thanks to BONUSLINK...=P

need rest 1st... later only continue assignment...
take care all my frens!!
good luck to you all!!!

shi wei!! =D

~~ A new LCD 23' ~~

o.O... a new LCD monitor 23' had in front on me.. wahaha... yesterday night going to take it and also paid it... im really not use of it.. it is because too big?? xD
anyway.... this is what my sister wish.. so get it already.... she so happy with it... wahaha...

Today classes so long really crazy... haiz... tired sei me... besides, today i have a presentation... and it is quite ok for my presentation... why the assignment so harder... i really dont know how to solve it... OMG~~~

OMG OMG OMG~~~~ Final exam around the corner... after next week... it is already final exam week... therefore next week is last classes and need hand in all assignment... but im still not finish all ~~~~ really cham... dont know how to solve... how finish!! crazy soon!!!

ah~~~~~~~~~~~~so hungry... go dinner 1st... share next time...

tata
take care my frens~~~ good luck to you all!! =D

Hungry Shi Wei.. =P
=.=

~~ Last night ~~

Last night drink with some frens... quite funny.. because of JULIO so we all going there and have a drink at station1 and help fren to support him...=P
really make me feel relax... however is just a moment.. but really happy.. so today must hardworking to do my assignments and everything lo... =D
After watching resident evil!! until now also didnt watch movie at cinema... because dont have nice or what? dont know.. wahaha.. also is good things.. i can save a lot money.. no need keep waste on such entertainment that wasting money... wahaha =D
What should do, and what should complete early must state it later... keep said will do... but didnt action.. at the end, just end out nothing.. can like that anymore.. must said jor then do dou...=D
wahahaha... ok ah...

GO DO 1st... i no want just said... =D
Find back myself... go go go!!

Shi wei..
take care all my frens... =)
good luck to you all!!

Late post of myself!! =P

Aug 3 that time, im wrote this at iphone notes!!
一个人没什么大不了!!
不要期望朋友会带来什么!!
最重要是自己要生活的快乐!!
不要理会别人的看法和意见!!
其实我再也没有勇气去期望什么了!!
我只要开开心心的度过我的一切!!

and this is 9 Aug!!
When a person tired!!
Really stressful.. Hmmm...
Today my bf asked me to find another half to accompany me!!
I'm didnt said what!! Hmmmm...
Actually i wish!! But i'm not brave at all... I'm really scare!!
I'm so suffer already while study, i don't want because of that thing to make me more suffer!! I'm need support not bring me more suffer!!
Haih!! I'm always less self-confident.....
I'm saw people can earn many $$ by own and study also get good results!!
I'm really felt myself useless!! I didn't know what i'm doing in my life!!
Stupid wei can't stand strong!! Who can helps me?? Haih....

Over 2month things.... xD

Shi wei~~

Saturday classes!! Zzzz

Ah...saturday classes really sienz... even i do assignment also wont so bored... class... then become very bored jor.. omg... i not want saturday classes... but always got saturday classes... really crazy... faint faint faint.... =(

Assignment +++ again... omg... when i can do my Individual final project... im not enough time to do jor.. need more rushing liao... later cant show something to supervisor then cham liao... give supervisor killing me... =(

rush rush rush.... oktober right now.. final exam is around the corner as well... wah... faint lo... everything is near by... stress sei me jor... besides, must work as well... because rest can keep me stress away... so wont so suffer... =D
no entertainment, then work lo... the only way relax... wahaha.. =D

tomorrow and later night need rush tutorials + assignment 1st... next week tuesday got works... so must finish fast... 2week to go.. final exam coming... i have to start revision as well...

shi wei jia you jia you go go go!!
good luck to myself.. =)

take care!! good luck all my frens... ^^

shiwei~~~