~~I'm bad boy~~

~~I'm Bad Boy~~
I'm really felt myself was bad... I have did a lot of bad things....
But it is everyone never did wrong, fault or bad things??? What things we did is correct?? What things we did is wrong?? I really doesn't know what is correct or wrong... What i did is bad~~~ I really did a big mistake and i fault of doing that... Really Sorry... Maybe i still not enough mature~~~ Am i, i Am.... What can i do... this time i really don't know~~~~
However i did wrong, but i never lie~~~ what i did is by my heart... But nobody understand me~~~ Everyday wake up only alone at home!! Many people also the same... But i have try been this since kids that time... I can't ever felt warm of family... Last night, my mum asking me take somethings on the table to somebody.... after that, night at home... She can't found a paper that on the table need give my sister to fill up the information... She keep finding also can't found... that shock me~~~~~~~ Said it is i taking it to somebody... i very confirm to her i didn't... but nobody believe... ever is my family.... NOBODY understand me or really care to me... Every times i think or get again the same things... Seriously I'm tear was inside my heart dropping~~~ Outside i really be so strong, it is because i no want people look down me... when i alone at home or somethings has happening... i always is the weak 1..... my heart really hurt '2'....
You said you are the hurt~~~
Have you thinking of me to said that and the most hurt is me~~~
I really doesn't know which people is really care on me and would like to listening what i share... Therefore i only can wrote out the feeling of me... Every times i read back or saw it also will felt sad~~~
Every times i smile, but this smile is not me..
It is because nobody care, but i don't wish other friends worry about me..
That why i keep smile, but inside my heart was so cold..
So contradictions (矛盾)~~
Want people care, but not want worry~~~
Today i really can't smile~~~~
T.T